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Friday, July 20, 2012


True enough, I had another pool of tears last night. It has been going on for over a week now. Lying on my bed, thinking of you, shouting your name soundlessly , staring into nothingness.

We relatively started out as friends,with constant communication, exchanging thoughts, throwing corny jokes at each other until we discovered that we are similar in many ways. In short, we have a good chemistry as you have told me before. I even trusted you easily my innermost thoughts and my top secrets. Oh how could I forget the countless times that you made me laugh with your crazy antics? You made me feel so very special. Little by little, we started to care for each other.. then unconsciously , we found out that we are falling in love and strangely as I should say, even before we met.

We've been so very happy together, you've shown me the love and affection that I've been longing for. You've given the best to make this relationship a wonderful one. And I know that it's for real. I know that I've found in you the missing piece of my life. We are soulmates, and that's a fact we can't deny.

But then one day you're gone, I felt tormented as if your loss was killing me. I knew then, something is bothering you. And when you surfaced, I figured out something that broke my heart off.

I never thought that I could hurt myself by loving you so much like this. Sometimes I wish I never did..Yes, even though I know that no amount of words can measure the depth of love that we have for each other,our hearts and souls can attest to that, it's different now when you finally broke up the bad news to me. But in as much as we wanted to work it out, it seems that the whole world is against us, our love is going against the tide. We had a right love at a wrong time.

But you assured me of one thing, everything would be alright, that in the long run our love for each other will still prevail. The only thing that makes me stronger now is holding on to your promises. I know that true love can wait, but how long can I carry on?

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Friday, November 12, 2010


Today..I meet him again..

He was still the same person I used to know..Anyway, it's not too long since the day I last talked with him. I still feel the pounding in my heart..I was still as excited as before with the way he talk to me...Oh how I missed our endless conversation... the familiar odd feeling whenever I'm interacting with him still invades my heart..

I thought I had moved on..oh that's the least thing I wanted to do before..Forgetting and letting go were my greatest fears..then.

I knew I am stupid but there is no more sign that he still loves me...but can you blame me? This craziness has been here for almost two years ...and during the times when he's constantly ignoring me, the only thing I do was to cry whenever there is a need to..

I think, it's not about who I really love and deserve, it's about who I want. But unfortunately, the person I really want to be with turned out to be someone who just seems to make a fool out of me and left my heart to bleed endlessly. Isn't it unfair to me? Is this what I really should get for loving you that much? Is this the price I have to pay?

But how do you say goodbye to someone you never really had? Why do I cry to someone I know I never really owned. Why do my tears fall so endlessly for someone who had never really loved me to my expectations? Why is it that I terribly miss someone I was never really with? And why do I love someone who will never love me in return?

How long will this stupidity last? Help me, please. I want to get off with this foolishness.........

Monday, November 8, 2010

"TRAFFIC LIGHT" Sad-Love -Pain"(

When you love someone and there is a need to let go just think that loving them so much doesn't always mean they're the right one for us. Sometimes we should weigh things out for the better, not only for ourselves but also for the persons who love us no matter what..

Letting go doesn't mean giving up! but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be. Not all things are perfect!

The hardest thing to do is letting go...
not because you want to...but because you have to ...

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Loneliness had invaded my lame heart once again..I don’t know when I will get rid of it..It crawls along my nerves, triggering my eyes to shed off tears..

How can I forget that excruciating night when I discovered that my notions turned out to be real? The revelation hit me hard that at first shocked me and brought out frustrations and agony. .. It seems somebody else had taken my place in your heart? But what can I do? I knew from the very start that this time will come, that I should face the reality..I can’t blame you though, and this is my solemn confession..This feeling is unstoppable I suppose but I can’t give you all that you’ve been wanting from me..

Inspite of all these odds, I believe that everything happens for a purpose..however I still cannot solve the underlying mystery why I keep on yearning for your love… is it funny?

And now, I’ve made up my mind, to continue loving you whatever it takes.. Even though it is unjust, unfair..unacceptable.. and I hope time will come that all the misery will leave and I’ll finally never miss a thing about you….

Thursday, August 12, 2010


Am I really a fool? Do I always be the one to kiss the pain? Now, I can explain the odd feeling I had this crisp morning. Instead of appreciation, upon finding out the pleasant surprise I delightedly handed out to you, it only gained an unexpected mockery .. Though I'm aware that everything and every move I made was already mundane to you, this still triggered too much disappointment in me, I was really annoyed.

Times were spent the entire day with crazy thoughts and questions running in my distressed mind. The trouble with you is your inconsistency and incomprehensibility … and our differences which presumably would never be patched up anymore…

Does true love really exist? I guess, this is just a one-way affair of the heart… apparently, you just love the idea of loving and you’re not really in love with me…everything is now clear ..The trust and respect are not really present from the very start….Do we deserve each other? I’m hoping we do, but I’m afraid we don’t…It’s so unfortunate of me, that I still hang on to this fanatical feeling..

And finally, do I have to give up now? I know that this is the most difficult part of it..This has been like a glass that ‘s already broken and putting back the pieces might only hurt me….but I have to be brave and strong to face it all……

“I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose someone you never really had.”

As soon as forever is through, I'll be over you. --Toto